why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
sex in a hospital.. check
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
