I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
If I die, sorry about rent.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
