what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
