i was rollin on her like bob the builder
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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