I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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