I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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