Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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