Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
