how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
