When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
