Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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