if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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