I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Randomize
