READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
