Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
