my vag is so smooth its legendary
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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