yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
