you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
