I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
