Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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