If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize