is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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