dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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