Since when is my name a synonym for head?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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