god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
