Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
