There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
