Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
