My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
