Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
