Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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