At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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