is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
