we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
