If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
