Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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