You're a womanizer and a bitch.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
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please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
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Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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