Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
you have to choose: penises or morals?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
