Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Just cropdusted the office
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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