My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Randomize
