You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
