I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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