Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
