Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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