New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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