Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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