My sheets look like a crime scene.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
