$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
