I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize