i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Rumble strips road head = magical
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
