everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
