then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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