glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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