he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
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I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
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Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
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