my soul wont recognize me after tonight
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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